


30 Doboshes

by RyanTyler2294



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Dark, Hurt, M/M, Mission Gone Wrong, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Second Hand Grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:29:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29647878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyanTyler2294/pseuds/RyanTyler2294
Summary: A mission gone wrong, a Paladin unconscious, and another injured. The communications cut out, and no one knows what happened. Keith is going to get to the bottom of it.
Relationships: Shiro/Ulaz (Voltron)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this fic for nearly three years. It's a bottle of angst, but I hope you enjoy.

“Pidge needs a pod.” Shiro’s voice rang through the communicator, hoarse and scratchy.

“How close are you?” Allura asked.

“I’m a few ticks out.” He was panting and sounded strained.

“Ulaz will meet you at the hanger.” Allura was on the move herself.

Keeping his word, Shiro was there in a matter of moments. The Green Lion seems to have piloted itself back. Pidge was unconscious under Shiro’s arm as he emerged from its mouth.

Shiro wasn’t in much better shape. He was beaten and bruised. One eye was swollen shut and he was covered in some kind of light blue and bloody residue.

“Shiro?” Ulaz looked like he was going to say more but Shiro held up a hand to silence him.

“She took a pretty bad blow to the head. She needs a pod.”

“Coran has one prepared.” Ulaz took Pidge from Shiro and cradled her as he took her to the infirmary. “You should get checked out as well.”

“Let’s get her looked at first.” Shiro insisted.

Keith winced every time he heard him speak. His voice was scratchy and raw. Even though he was trying to project, he barely rose above a whisper.

“What happened?” Allura asked as Pidge was loaded into the pod.

“We were ambushed,” Shiro explained.

“What happened to your voice?” Allura asked in concern. “And what are you covered in?”

“Long story. Think along the lines of Ghost Busters.”

“What?”

“You got slimed?” Lance asked incredulously.

“You need a decontamination shower.” Allura scrunched her nose.

“I was about to head over there. I wanted to make sure Pidge was okay first”

“We’ll have a pod ready for you when you get back,” Allura assured him.

“No need. I was only tossed around a little. I’m more or less okay.”

“If you’re sure.” Allura looked at him questioningly. “But if you think you need it, later on, get me or Coran.”

“Alright.” Shiro slipped out of the room before more questions could be asked. It was no secret that he wasn’t fond of the pods. He always came out disoriented. Grant it, doing so had led them to Ulaz and the Blades of Marmora, who were powerful allies. Shiro still didn’t like the feeling. He had to be severely injured to consider it.

“How did this happen?” Hunk asked. Everyone else had come back from their missions more or less unharmed.

“Shiro hasn’t debriefed us yet.” Keith frowned. “And Pidge won’t be able to talk for another hour.”

“Damn,” Lance said. “Is she going to be alright?”

“Yes,” Ulaz replied as he checked the readings on the pod. “She might have a touch of a headache when she wakes up, but that should be it.”

“We should wait for her to get out.” Hunk said.

“I’ll grab her a blanket.” Keith decided.

When Shiro was tending to other things Keith took over as a leader. He did his best to look after the others. He wasn’t always successful at it. They had been in space together for a long time now, but he still had trouble communicating. Lance, Hunk, and Pidge tended to form a click of their own. They had been a crew together in the Galaxy Garrison. But Keith and Lance were always bumping heads and it made it hard for him to get close to them.

There were times when his extended olive branch wasn’t accepted. But in times like these, they were able to come together and help one another.

“I’m going to check on Shiro,” Ulaz left them to watch over Pidge. It wasn’t uncommon for Ulaz to pick playing nurse for Shiro over the others. But this time he seemed to leave in a hurry. When Keith passed him on his way back to the infirmary. He was a blur of motion and Keith thinks he may have been running on all fours. It’s something he’d only ever seen the Galra do during an emergency. But Ulaz never called anyone to say that he needed help, or that Shiro was in critical condition.

Keith sighed as he waited for Pidge. He wished he had been there so he could have given some support. Maybe he could have prevented this from happening. But he had been on a mission with the others and only made it back a few minutes before Shiro and Pidge had. Which was weird because those two didn’t have a mission when he left. Something must have happened while he was gone.

~.~.~.~.~

Pidge came out cold, but alert. Before she got knocked out, she managed to download information from the ship’s mainframe. She was eager to get to it before anything else.

“What happened?” Keith asked. “You both came back pretty beaten up.”

“I don’t know,” Pidge pulled the blanket around herself. “I was watching the monitors and then I woke up here.”

“What were you guys even doing?” Lance asked.

“While you guys were gone, we realized there was a terminal nearby. It was like the terminals we’ve seen that distribute supplies. It was pretty much empty, so we thought it would okay to only send two people.” Allura explained. “We thought no one was onboard. It was supposed to be a quick in and out mission.”

“What was the mission,” Keith asked.

“We set it to blow. Pidge hacked the security so Shiro had time to set the explosives and Pidge was to guide him. I’m not sure what happened. There were 30 doboshes where we weren’t in communication. I feared the worst, but no one was available to go after them. Then Shiro replied and said Pidge was hurt.”

“So, the only one who knows what happened is Shiro?” Lance clarified.

“He did say they were ambushed,” Hunk pointed out.

“He’ll give a debriefing later,” Allura said. “He looked pretty worn out when he got back. He should take some time to rest.”

“Where are my things?” Pidge asked. “I was downloading information when I got caught. I want to look it over.”

Pidge had a tendency of downloading what she could from imperial bases. It had led to useful information in the past. But they all knew her main goal was to find information about her missing family.

“Found it!” Her equipment had been put inside of the pouches of her Paladin armor. “I’m gonna look this over. Get me when Shiro is ready to debrief.”

~.~.~.~.~

Normally, Keith could find Shiro around the ship not too long after a mission. Right now he was nowhere to be found. Hunk said he saw him coming out of the shower room. Ulaz was with him trying to talk him into a healing pod, like always.

“He seemed a bit more determined than usual,” Hunk added.

“He was pretty battered,” Lance noted. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him injured except for that time he fought Hagar.”

“I’m gonna bring him something for the pain, and something to eat.” Keith decided. He wanted an excuse to check in on him.

“He seemed alright when I saw him,” Allura chimed in. “He put on something more comfortable, but I still think he needs a pod.”

“You caught him and Ulaz arguing too?” Hunk asked.

“Yes. It has me worried. The conversation was…tense. Ulaz was insisting he go to the infirmary and Shiro said no. Then Ulaz asked to at least look at his arm and Shiro refused again.”

“I’m going to go check on him,” Keith decided. Forget pretense, he was going to get to the bottom of this.

“I tried,” Allura sighed. “He set the lock on his room to ‘Do Not Disturb.’ He’s not letting anyone in.”

“We’re always telling him to take a break and get some rest,” Lance pointed out. “Maybe he’s finally doing it.”

Keith didn’t believe it. Shiro was more stubborn than he was. After a mission, Shiro was a ball of energy. He needed to get through debriefing, do a bit of training. Anything to keep him moving as he processed what had happened. Sleep didn’t come until he’d gotten all of that out of his system.

Keith was the only one who knew the code to get into Shiro’s room when it was set to “Do Not Disturb.”

The door swished open for Keith to find Ulaz sitting on the bed with Shiro’s head in his lap. He was stroking his hair trying to soothe him. Shiro was dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. He was staring at the wall in front of him. His one non-swollen eye was red-rimmed like he’d been crying.

Shiro looked at him for a few seconds before blinking and asked, “What’s up?” with his broken voice.

“You okay?”

“A bit sore,” Shiro said.

“How is he?” Keith looked to Ulaz for the truth.

“Battered, but not broken. I would like him to get into a pod. I’m worried about head injuries.”

“I’m fine,” Shiro said.

“He’ll be up to it in a bit. He just needs to rest.” Ulaz reassured him.

Keith frowned but nodded and left. Something was wrong. He didn’t know what, but he knew it was bad. He’d never seen Shiro this out of it before. But he’d also never seen him this beat up before.

It was killing him not to know what happened. The galran fighting force were devastatingly strong compared to a human. Even one hit could deal a lot of damage. It’s why he wanted to know if his injuries warranted a pod, or if he just needed to rest.

The only way to know for sure, was to watch the security footage. Pidge probably had that. Sure enough, Keith found her in the lounge trying to decrypt information files.

When he asked for it, she took a while to respond. She was typing a thousand miles per second.

“Sorry. What?” She asked.

“Do you think I could get the security footage from the mission,” Keith said again.

“Sure,” She rummages through her bag and found one of her homemade flash drives. “What are you looking for?”

“Nothing special,” Keith shrugged. “I'm trying to figure out what happened. I think Shiro is a bit worse for wear than he’s trying to let on.”

“Comes with the burden of being a leader,” Pidge started the download. “This might take a minute.”

“Have you found anything useful?” Keith asked.

“No. It’s a log of ships coming and going and what’s on them. When prisoners are being transported, they’re scanned in by their prisoner number. I’m not sure what Matt’s or my Dad’s is though. Or I’m decoding it wrong?”

“Decoding? I thought your program brought the files over unencrypted.”

“Usually, but I couldn’t use my program. The system was different, so I had to do it manually. Do you think Shiro knows their numbers? Or maybe Ulaz?”

“You would have to ask them. But Shiro’s resting right now.”

“I’ll ask him when he’s up,” Pidge passed him the flash drive.

Keith thanked her before he went back to his room and keyed up his computer tablet. It was something he found in the castle. Pidge tended to mimic and tweak the tech she used so the flash drive was compatible.

He opened the file and managed to find about the time Pidge and Shiro went in. For the most part, it seemed like a normal mission. Shiro got Pidge to the main console room and helped her into the mainframe. Then he took off to the crucial parts of the ship to set them to detonate. There was no sound to the tapes, but he could see their mouths moving as they communicated. It all seemed normal.

He watched as Pidge started to hack for information. She turned her attention away from the monitors. Then Keith saw when the group of galra came up from what looked like a basement level. There were no cameras down there. It made sense that there was an oversight. But Pidge didn’t notice. She wasn’t watching the monitors as she searched for information.

Keith watched as one of the soldiers sniffed in the air before he gave a signal, and they broke into two groups. The first group snuck up on Pidge. It looked like she screamed before she got knocked out. Shiro stopped what he was doing when he heard the noise and took off in Pidge’s direction. But when he made it to the control room, he was blocked in by the second group. He tried to defend himself against six or so enemies.

The fight was short. Shiro got tossed around like a rag doll by each blow. There was no way he didn’t need medical treatment.

Shiro was held in place and his helmet was pulled off. They were talking and Shiro started to thrash. More blows rained down on his face. He looked at them in defiance but then they pointed their blaster at his head. More talking, Shiro struggled but this time they pointed their blaster to Pidge. Shiro stilled.

Keith watched as the soldiers talked and Shiro started to shake. He looked terrified. Keith soon saw why. One of them undid the front of the pants to their uniform. It took out its penis, and pushed it against Shiro’s face. They were laughing and taunting him.

The realization hit Keith like a ton of bricks. He felt sick as the video continued. He paused it. He shouldn’t be watching this. But the other part of him needed to know what happened, how bad it was.

He pressed play. In the footage, they pushed Shiro over and started to rid him of his Paladin armor. Keith couldn’t stomach it. He fast-forwards trying to get to the end, but it seemed like it went on forever.

This must have been the missing 30 doboshes that Allura was talking about.

A lot of things were starting to make sense. The weird residue that was on Shiro, why his throat was so injured he could barely speak, why Shiro was so out of it.

Finally, they stopped and let Shiro fall to the floor. He was shaking and crying. Keith had never seen him cry before. Again, they were talking among themselves. Shiro was struggling to move. He was sluggish and still trying to pull himself together. His right arm couldn’t support him as he tried to get up. It had been pulled and wrenched and squeezed until it broke.

They turned back to him by the time he was sitting up. They said something and laughed. Shiro stilled again. He was still scared but his eyes started to narrow and then, it all happened at once.

Keith had only heard of what Shiro had done in the arena. Yes, he’d seen him fight before, but not like this. It was like he had superhuman strength and speed. He slashed and killed so efficiently it was unnerving.

Shiro collapsed in exhaustion and pain. Slowly he got up and started to pull his armor back on. He managed to get his mangled arm into the armor. He went to Pidge and checked her pulse. He looked to the control panel and pulled the flash drive out. That’s where it ended.

Keith could only stare at the blank screen. He wasn’t sure what to do. Should he talk to Shiro about it? Should he tell the others?

But he was also mad. This wouldn’t have happened if…if Pidge had been paying attention. He wouldn’t have gotten trapped. And it’s not like this was the first time something had gone wrong because Pidge got sidetracked. He knew she wanted to find her family, but she kept placing them above the team.

He was so angry he was seeing red. He doesn’t remember getting up and leaving his room or going to the lounge. He just knew that he was suddenly in front of Pidge, shaking.

“Why didn’t you watch Shiro’s back?” Despite his rage, his voice was level: the calm before the storm. But he still managed to catch the other's attention. Hunk and Lance were also in the room, trying to figure out where this was going.

“I did have his back,” Pidge looked up from her computer.

“No, you didn’t,” Keith’s hands clenched into fists. “That’s how he got hurt.”

“It’s not my fault. I got knocked out.”

“Because you weren’t paying attention!” He raised his voice. “You left him unguarded and those guys, they, they hurt him!”

“Hey,” Hunk tried to intervene. He shrank back a little when Keith’s head snapped to the side, glaring. “Let’s not place blame. We’ve all been hurt on a mission before.”

“It’s not the same thing!” Keith snapped.

“Dude, calm down,” Now Lance was getting in on it. “Shiro’s made of tuff stuff, right? He survived the arena I’m sure he…”

“It’s not the same!” Keith repeated. “What they did to him… They, they…” He was so angry he couldn’t form the words.

“He’s a little beat up, but he’ll be okay.” Pidge rolled her eyes. “You’re overreacting.”

“If you knew what happened you wouldn’t be saying that, if you knew what he did to keep you safe!”

“How about you tell us?” Hunk suggested.

“I can’t,” Keith growled through clenched teeth. “It was…it was really bad” Shiro wouldn’t want him to tell them.

“If it was bad, he would have said something by now,” Pidge pointed out.

“No, he wouldn’t!” Keith lashed out. They all knew that. Shiro downplays his injuries, if he even admits to having them. And it only got worse once Ulaz came onboard. He was skilled in medical training and Shiro would go to him if he needed something instead of telling them. But at least then he was getting treated.

“You’re worrying over nothing,” Pidge said.

“No, you guys don’t care!”

“I care!” Pidge shrieked. “I didn’t do anything wrong. The information I gathered will help us later.”

“That’s bullshit! Useful information is a coincidence. You only search the bases for information on your brother.”

“He’s been missing for more than a year! You would be doing the same thing!” She yelled back.

“But you can’t leave the team at risk! They cornered him, and he was outnumbered!” The commotion was drawing attention. Allura poked her head in to see what was going on.

“He fought them off! He got a black eye to show for it, but he’s fine!”

Keith felt himself lunge before he realized that he had. Hunk and Lance got a hold of him before he could do anything. Pidge made a little noise as she jumped out of his reach. Allura got between them, trying to step in. Coran came in a moment later to help, though Keith never got to lay a hand on her.

The only thing that stopped him was when there was a roar behind them. It was almost like a cheetah tried to sound like a lion, but it was enough to startle them apart.

They turned around to see Ulaz standing next to a very tired and confused-looking Shiro.

“What's going on?” Shiro’s voice was still scratchy and hoarse, barely above a whisper. Ulaz must have roared to get their attention for him.

“Keith attacked Pidge!” Lance was the first to talk. Pidge nodded to confirm what was being said.

Shiro turned his gaze towards Keith with a raised eyebrow.

“She’s the reason you got hurt, and she’s acting like it’s okay!” Keith tugged free from the other’s grip and took a step away from the group.

“Where is this coming from?” Shiro asked in confusion.

“I don’t know,” Pidge said still visibly upset. “He watched the security footage from the mission, or something and then he went off!”

Their eyes locked and Keith saw the panic rise on Shiro’s face, the shame. Shiro broke eye contact first. His gaze dropped to the floor.

“I keep telling him you only got a little scuffed up,” Pidge said.

“Shiro,” Coran started softly. “Are you okay?”

Shiro looked away uncomfortably, visibly shaken. The others were taking notice as well. A silence settled over the room. He took a small step back as if they took one forward. He was trying to stand his ground, but it also seemed like he was trying to hide behind Ulaz.

“You don’t have to…” Keith started to say. Shiro shouldn’t have to put himself through this.

“No,” Shiro held up his good hand. “We should talk about this. At least in some capacity.” He shuffled to sit down on one of the couches. Each step was sluggish and pained. He winced as he lowered himself down even though Ulaz was helping support him.

The others followed suit sitting down in a circle.

“What’s going on?” Allura asked. “How bad is it?”

Shiro took a deep breath still looking down. Ulaz put his hand on Shiro’s shoulder.

“If you’re not ready to, you don’t have to,” Ulaz murmured.

“No, no, I should say something.”

Guilt was eating away at Keith’s stomach. If he hadn’t acted rashly, then Shiro wouldn’t be in this situation where he felt the need to explain what happened.

“Did something bad happen when the transmission cut out?” Allura asked.

“Yeah,” Shiro croaked. “I heard Pidge get caught. When I got there to help her, I was over-powered." His voice caught in his throat. He had to clear it before he continued on. “And they roughed me up pretty bad.” He paused, opened his mouth like he was going to say more, then stopped.

“Take your time,” Coran was dulcet like a mother. It was one of the few times that Keith had seen him take a moment seriously. But it also seemed like Coran managed to puzzle everything out.

Shiro nodded like a child. His face was scrunched in distress.

“Shiro?” Allura looked as lost as the others about what to do.

“They, they raped me,” Shiro managed to say, but everything that came after was rambles and broken. “T-they said something about t-taking us back to the ship and, and I blacked out, next thing I knew t-they were in pieces, everywhere, on the floor and I was dragging Pidge out of t-there.”

The silence was back. No one knew what to say or how to react. Shiro let out a shaky breath as he suppressed a sob, but didn’t look up.

“Are you okay?” Hunk was the first one to speak up. “Never mind that’s a stupid question.”

“I will be, eventually,” Shiro leaned into Ulaz who, in turn, wrapped his arm around him.

“Wait,” Lance’s nose scrunched. “That means that goo…ew. No wonder you took like an hour in the shower.”

“If there is anything, we can do to help you in your recovery, let us know,” Allura talked over Lance.

“I’m alright,” Shiro said.

“We need some pain meds and salve,” Ulaz answered for him. “Basic first aid kit and if you have one of those handheld scanners. I need to check to make sure there is no internal bleeding.”

“We can take a trip down to the infirmary,” Coran suggested.

Ulaz shook his head and exchanged a look with Coran. There was no way he could get Shiro into the infirmary. It reminded him too much of his time with the Empire. And considering the circumstances, Ulaz was trying not to be too invasive. But instead, he explained it by saying, “He’s more comfortable in his room.”

“I should be able to get you everything,” Coran promised.

“And a few small mechanical tools,” Ulaz added. “His arm needs repairs.”

Coran stroked his mustache in thought, “That’s very delicate machinery.”

“Isn’t it connected to his brain?” Hunk asked.

“I didn’t plan on doing that in the room,” Ulaz confirmed. Shiro curled in a little closer to him and Ulaz rubbed his shoulder. “Some of the damage will be difficult to repair.”

“I’m sorry,” Pidge blurted out. She was in tears. “I didn’t mean to…”

“Hey,” Shiro sat up going into Space Dad mode. It was easier for him to focus on taking care of others than worrying about himself. “This isn’t your fault.”

“It is! Keith was right. I wasn’t watching the security monitors because I was hacking for information and…”

“It still isn’t your fault.” Shiro soothed, but Pidge was already out of her seat and hugging him. He could hear her whimpering as she tried not to cry, and failed. He put his good arm around her and gave her a tight squeeze.

“Keith’s been blaming her the whole time.” Lance pointed out.

“Alright, let me make this clear. What happened to me isn’t the fault of anyone here,” Shiro said to the room. He couldn’t project his voice without it cracking and breaking but he did his best. “Blaming each other won’t do us any good. I’m hurt but I’m not dead. I need time to heal, but I will get better.”

“You’ll let Ulaz treat you?” Keith asked. “You’ll actually make sure you get treatment?”

“Yes,” Shiro assured him.

“Soon?” Keith asked. He didn’t want to be pushy but with all the blows to the head that he’s taken, he shouldn’t wait much longer.

“How about we start with the hand?” Ulaz asked.

“Yeah, fine. Let’s do it.” Shiro signed. Pidge finally let go of him so he could stand up. Ulaz was by his side, supporting him: one arm around his waist so he could lean into him.

They all ended up sitting with Shiro as he got his arm looked over. He needed help slipping it out of the sleeve so Ulaz could look at it. When it was free it was clear to see why he was having so much difficulty. It was smashed, twisted, and mangled in such a way it must be painful.

“I don’t feel it,” Shiro told Ulaz as he gingerly touched it during his initial inspection. “It’s dead weight.”

“I’m not sure if I can salvage it,” Ulaz was honest.

“Do what you have to do,” Shiro said.

“How can you not fix it?” Lance asked. “Isn’t it galra tech?”

“I’ve only done basic diagnostics and repairs. With this kind of damage, we need to replace the whole thing. Prosthetics like these aren’t easy to come by. The way they connect to the nervous system is complex and delicate. The only high-quality ones are made by druids of the Empire. Others tend to come from the black market, and if it’s done wrong it can cause severe brain damage or death.”

“So, what can we do?” Keith asked.

“I think it would be best to remove it.” Ulaz went on to explain, “It will only serve as a hindrance from here on.”

“Just do it,” Shiro sighed. He shifted in his seat, resting his left arm on the armrest of the chair, and brought his hand to his face.

“I’ll be as quick as possible,” Ulaz promised. He set to work removing the arm. He started dismantling the fingers, disconnecting them from the joint. Soon Ulaz started to work on the wrist. It was covered by some of the platings from the lower arm, so some of it had to be cut away.

“Let me know if anything hurts,” Ulaz cautioned before he used one of the precision tools to start to cut.

Shiro didn’t watch as it happened. His eyes were closed, and he was taking deep even breaths. The palm came off and his breath hitched.

“Do you want to take a break?” Ulaz asked.

“No. Let’s get this over with.”

“This next part may take some time,” Ulaz warned. He got to work removing the metal plating, checking to make sure the synapsis weren’t firing. He had to be careful when undoing wiring as he disassembled the arm. Soon all that remained was a cap of metal over his shoulder that fused to the skin and muscle to function as a base.

“All done,” Ulaz told him. Shiro didn’t move.

“Did he fall asleep?” Allura lowered her voice to a whisper not wanting to wake him if he had.

“Let him take his time.” Ulaz cautioned as he busied himself cleaning up.

Shiro finally started to move. He shifted his weight, so he was sitting up straight. He frowned when he looked at the empty spot on his right side.

“It will take a while to get used to. But soon you won’t even notice.” Ulaz assured him. He helped him stand.

“Remember when you offered to carry me?” Shiro asked. It must have been a conversation the others weren’t there for. “I’ll take you up on that.”

Ulaz wasted no time scooping Shiro up into his arms. He also wasted no time in asking if the pain was getting worse.

“I’m a little more aware of the pain in my knee. I went down on it hard when I fell.”

“I’ll look at it when we get back to the room.”

Shiro leaned into Ulaz, his eyes closing as the exhaustion started to catch up to him.

Keith was helpless as all of this happened in front of him. There was nothing he could do, no way he could help. He felt sick. He could only stand around while Shiro continued to suffer.

“Feel better,” Keith said as they passed by.

“I’ll see you guys later,” Was Shiro’s only response.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

It was a relief when Ulaz finished tending to him. Shiro was laying on his stomach in bed. Ulaz draped the blankets over him. Shiro appreciated it. All he wanted was some space to process what happened.

Scratch that. He wanted to pretend like it never happened. But he always felt like that. He wished that this whole Voltron adventure, and the Kerberos mission never happened. Maybe he would snap awake and find out that he was in his own bed back on Earth.

That would be nice.

“Do you think you could eat?” Ulaz asked him.

“Not hungry.” He rolled over so he wouldn’t have to face him.

“I’ll bring you something light,” Ulaz started to get up. Shiro felt his heart leap in his chest. He didn’t want to be alone.

Reaching out he tried to grasp for Ulaz. The action was lost since he tried to use his right arm.

“Don’t go,” Shiro called out. His voice was messed up, but Ulaz still managed to hear him, and came back. He laid down next to him leaving some space between them. He let Shiro decide if he could breach his personal bubble. Ulaz understood him, knew he had to take things slow. Ulaz started to purr. Shiro recognizes the cadence. It was the same that the Galra used to comfort one another. It was supposed to be soothing.

Shiro allowed him to come closer. Let Ulaz wrap his arms around him and hold him to his chest. The exhaustion was starting to set in. As much as he wanted to fight it, he was falling asleep. His body was heavy, and his eyelids were being weighed down by drowsiness. He knew all that waited for him were nightmares, but he was so tired.

~.~.~.~.~

Quiet enveloped the lounge as the Paladins processed everything. Allura was with them. Pidge sniffled a few times. Her nose was still stuffy from crying.

“What do we do now?” Hunk asked.

“Don’t look at me,” Lance answered.

“There’s no science to this,” Coran said. “We can only be supportive, and be there when he needs us.”

Keith wasn't listening. He slumped into the couch; arms folded over the armrest to make a resting spot for his chin. He wanted to do something to make things better, to fix things so they could go back to normal.

“We should do something special for him,” Allura suggested. “Some positive energy would do us all some good.”

“Like what?” Hunk looked around the room. No one seemed to have an answer. Shiro kept to himself outside of group training. And he rarely talked about himself unless prompted.

“We could do a movie night?” Pidge suggested. “I have a few on my laptop. We can hook it up to the screen so everyone can watch it.”

“And I can make snacks,” Hunk added.

“Wait, how long have you had movies?” Lance butt in.

“What kinds do you have?” Hunk asked. “What genre is Shiro even into?”

“I feel like he’s an action thriller sort of guy,” Lance mused.

“He likes silent films,” Keith told them. “Comedies.”

“I don’t have silent films, but I have comedies,” Pidge scratched her head in thought.

“What constitutes a silent movie?” Allura asked.

“It’s a film in black and white,” Keith started to explain. “The characters don’t make a sound when they talk. Instead, the film cuts to another screen where there are sub captions of what was said.”

“We might have something like that,” Allura mused. “I would have to check to make sure the files haven’t been corrupted.”

“Keith, you know what he likes, right?” Hunk asked.

“I guess.” He was the only one who knew Shiro back on Earth.

“You can help me and Coran in the kitchen.” Hunk suggested.

“And Pidge, Lance, and I will work on the film,” Allura decided. “I’ll send Ulaz a message on his communicator, so he knows what we’re up to.”

“Also,” Lance started. “Are we not going to talk about that?”

“Talk about what?” Pidge raised an eyebrow.

“Shiro and Ulaz,” Lance confirmed. “Don’t they seem a little…close?”

“They went through a lot together.” Keith reasoned. “He has a better idea about what to do to make him feel better.”

“It does seem deeper than that,” Hunk agreed.

“They’re good friends,” Keith crossed his arms. “If it was more than that Shiro would have said something.”

“That’s not important right now,” Coran jumped in. “Let’s focus on the task at hand.”

“Alright,” Lance conceded but made sure to mumble. “Though it does look one way.”

“It’s not like that,” Keith huffed, but was already on his way to help out in the kitchen. He wasn’t much of a chef, but he guessed he could help direct things. He knew what Shiro liked to eat and could make sure that they got the taste right.

~.~.~.~.~

Shiro always had a good memory. It helped him get through exams without having to spend a lot of time studying. It helped him with his personal projects at the Garrison so he could recall formulas. He knew phone numbers without having to write them down. He could remember important dates when need be.

But now it was proving to be a curse. He was hoping he would forget what happened, like he had with the Empire. But no, he was forced the replay every single detail. He couldn’t even escape it in his dream.

He would go back to that moment when he heard Pidge scream. He called to her through the comms but got no answer. But he could hear someone on the other end speaking in Galran.

He rushed back to the control room. There was no one on the ship when they scanned it. How had they overlooked this?

He tried to get there before it was too late, before they killed her. He told Allura that he was doubling back to get Pidge. Allura cautioned him to be careful, but he already knew. He didn’t know how many adversaries he would have to face.

He skid into the room to find Pidge unconscious on the ground, surrounded by three galra. Three was okay. He could take three with minimum damage. He would have to be quick about it.

Then three more stepped in behind him, cutting off his exit. Now he was in trouble. Before he could even power up his arm, they were on him. It didn’t take many blows for him to be dizzy as he was forced to his knees, one galra on each arm to keep him in place. His helmet was ripped from his head and one of them laughed.

“Who would have thought that the Champion would be caught here.” The one in front of him chuckled.

“I told you I smelled him,” The one on his left arm said.

“Yeah, yeah,” the one in front of him didn’t seem to care for the commentary. “The question still comes down to, what to do with them? You guys are a part of Voltron, right?” He asked Shiro without expecting an answer. “So, should we kill them or turn them in? Maybe use them as bait to get the others.”

Shiro glared them down. There was no way he was going to let any of that happen. He wrenched himself away from their grip and tried to swing on them. As if anticipating it, the one in front of him snarled before landing a few blows to his face.

Pain blossomed at the impact and radiated through his skull. He could already feel his face starting to swell. He still tried to glare at them, to be defiant. But then there was a blaster pointed to his head, and he stilled.

“It’s a shame to have to hand him over to Zarkon,” The one said. He was watching Shiro try to shake off the hit. His yellow eyes were clearly twinkling with amusement and the corner of his mouth lifted in a sneer. “But if he’s here now, well, it wouldn’t hurt to have a little fun.”

“Fun?” The one on his right arm asked.

“I’ve heard some rumor from central command. They say the Champion dominated in the arena, but was submissive in bed.”

Shiro froze when he heard that. He hadn’t had to deal with that part of his life since he joined Voltron.

“Are we even allowed to?”

“No one will care.” His face was grabbed roughly, and he was made to look at his captors. “What do you say, Champion?”

“Fuck you,” Shiro snarled.

“We both know that’s not how it goes,” The galra laughed. Once again Shiro jerked away to try and escape but this time they held one of their guns to the side of Pidge’s head.

“You’re not going anywhere Champion.” He laughed. Shiro tried not to shake, but he was quivering, knowing what was to come. And worse he couldn’t fight back or Pidge would get hurt if he didn’t comply.

He couldn’t look away as it undid its pants, and pressed the head of its half-hard cock to his face.

“You know what to do,” It sneered. And Shiro did. He’d done this throughout his captivity more times than he can count. And his body committed this to memory for survival.

He opened his mouth, relaxed his jaw and throat, and let it happen. He tried to ignore the jeers and belittling as he took their dick in his mouth. He closed his eyes and tried to get through this.

“He’s really doing it!” One of them gushed. “He’s not even putting up a fight.”

“Cause, he knows better.”

“Are we going to be able to…ya know?”

“What?”

“I heard that they…ya know with his butt…”

“Everyone is going to get a chance to use him. Don’t worry.” The one in his mouth announced to what Shiro assumes were his subordinates. He wasn’t that focused on the conversation. He was trying to make sure he could breathe, but this guy was dead set on leaving him gagging and deprived of air.

“We’re just getting started,” He said as he pulled out and watched Shiro cough and gasp for air. “Let’s get you out of that.”

The armor design between the Galra and the Paladins was very similar. It didn’t take them that long to rid him of it.

“He’s so soft,” One of them marveled as they groped his buttocks. “Where do you...” He kept feeling around until, “Found it!” A finger forced its way inside.

“How does it feel?”

“He’s really tight. How are we supposed to put it in? I don’t think anything will fit.”

“Move over,” One pushed the other out of the way. “Quiznaking virgin.” He grumbled, pumping his cock a few times to get his fingers covered in the natural lubricant it secreted. He started fingering him. They were firm but not rough. He scissored his fingers and pumped his hand.

“Just take him already,” one of them hiss impatiently.

“I’m not a sadist like you animals. Sometimes it’s better to have them a little underdone.”

“What is that even supposed to mean?”

“Soft and pink, not bloody,” he said simply. “You want him to hug you when you get in there, not be a gaping hole.”

“Oh.”

“You really never done this before?”

Shiro tried not to focus on the constant fingering of his rear. This guy wasn’t brutal, but he wasn’t gentle either. He was taking his time to make sure Shiro was stretched enough to take him without tearing.

“He’s ready,” They lined up behind him and started to press in. Shiro choked on his scream. He wasn’t ready for it. Physically he was, but mentally he still couldn’t catch up with what was going on. How did he get here? He wanted to run, he wanted this to stop, but Pidge… He looked over to where she was still unconscious, and a blaster was still being pointed at her head. He had no choice but to just lay here and take it.

“Shit he’s tight,” it growled as it started to move faster. Shiro tried to keep a grip on the floor beneath him so he didn’t slide across with every thrust. He kept his mouth closed. He didn’t want to give these guys any more satisfaction by screaming.

They were starting to crowd around him to get a better look at what was going on. The one inside of him growled when one of them went to touch Shiro.

“You can’t just hog him,” one of the others snapped.

“You’ll get your turn so back off.” He growled. He started going faster, huffing from exertion.

“Let him have his fun,” the leader laughed. “I doubt he’ll be too long.” He was right. It wasn’t long until it started to groan a little louder and picked up the pace. Shiro closed his eyes and grimaced. He winced when a hand came down on his butt, hard. The slap echoed in the room and the others hooted when his ass jiggled. It kept doing it.

“You like that?” It growled fucking him harder. “Yeah, you do. I can feel you tightening up, squeezing me, begging me to fill you.” Claws started to dig into Shiro’s sides to hold him in place. He wasn’t responding so it was forcing him to move as if he was fucking along with him.

It sounded like a roar burst from it as it came inside of him, scorching him with its release. There was a lot of it. It didn’t take long for Shiro to become full. Shiro felt like crying but was determined not to. He wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction. He had to at least hold onto that last part of his dignity.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, it pulled out, and let him collapse to the ground. Cum flowed from his opening, trickling down his thighs, to pool on the floor.

He didn’t have time to feel relief. Another one hopped on top of him the moment the other one had gone. This one was smaller than the last, but it didn’t do much for his comfort.

This one smothered him with its weight and just went at it. Shiro’s fingers tried to grip the floor so he stopped sliding. His belly was rubbing against the floor until it felt raw. He tried to lift himself so he could relieve some of the pain, but a hand was between his shoulder blades pushing him down.

That same hand was suddenly over his face. It covered his nose and mouth, cutting off his oxygen. He couldn’t take in a breath. It didn’t take long for his lungs to start to scream for air. He tried to move his face away from the hand, but he couldn’t break the grip.

The galra laughed and moaned. Shiro was tightening around him in his struggle. His eyes were starting to water as his lungs burned. He kicked and jerked trying to get away. His vision started to fade as he was on the cusp of passing out. He managed to get his right arm free from under himself, and clawed at the hand. When it wouldn’t budge his hand activated. It started to heat up, until it burned through the top of the armor plating, and reached skin. The galra shrieked and pulled away.

Shiro took a deep gasping breath. He coughed and wheezed, finally receiving relief.

“You bitch!” It growled grasping Shiro’s bicep and pulled his arm back. Shiro let out a shout when he felt the tug in his shoulder, and he screamed when his arm twisted and snapped. It pressed his forearm into his back, but it was still hot, and it seared him.

Shiro screamed and thrashed. Pain flared through his back. He could feel his skin melt, smell his flesh burn. He continued to kick, trying to get away. Tears finally started to fall from his eyes. His forearm was being crushed in the galras grip before it moved to do the same to his hand.

“You won’t be doing that again.”

Shiro sniffled and shook, trying to recover from the shock. He was told to stay still, and he did. It didn’t take long for it to finish after that. It pulled out and came on his back, which irritated his burns. He whimpered, his lips quivering.

“Is he crying?” one of them laughed. He was grabbed by his hair and yanked up forcing him to face them. He couldn’t pull it together fast enough, and they mocked him for it.

“All those battles, and all it took was a little cock to break the champion.” He was shaken, some of his hair was pulled out by the roots. He let out a small cry to alleviate some of the pressure in his chest. Between, the humiliation, the violation, and the pain, he wanted to die.

Another cock was pressed to his lips. It was jacking off on him. Pre-cum dribbled down on his face until it’s released splattered on his face. Tears kept leaking from Shiro’s eyes as he was showered in alien cum. It covered his hair and face and chest. His good hand came up, shaking, wiping jiz from his eyes, nose, and mouth.

“Alright, he’s mine now!”

“Can I get his mouth?”

“I don’t care. I just want his ass.”

Shiro was picked up by his hips so they had easy access. He cringed when he was penetrated. He was sore all over and his insides felt raw from how rough the last one had been. His back flared with pain whenever he moved.

A cock was pressed against his lips. He wasn’t going to let it in, but then he looked at Pidge and sighed, willingly opening his mouth. Again, he closed his eyes so he could try to be somewhere else, but the pain was too much. Trying to get away led to more agony, which left him writhing between the two.

“You weren’t joking about the way he squeezes! I think he wants this.”

“Yeah, but his mouth is like a dead fish.” One of them complained. “It’s warm and wet, but he ain’t doing anything with it.”

“Then make him.”

Shiro tried to look defiant, he really did but he hurt so much and all they did was chuckle and remind him of the position he was in.

“You could suck it. Or she can die it’s up to you.”

Shiro hollowed his cheeks and tried to bob his head. The way he was being pushed forwards helped with that. He sucked gently at first until he realized, the faster he got him off, the faster this was over. If they ever planned on letting them get out of this alive. All the same, he had a little control of the situation for once.

He sucked hard, trying his best to make this thing cum. He let his tongue run along the underside of the dick, and made sure to stop to play with the head of the cock.

“Woah, He’s really going at it,” the one above him groaned and grabbed the back of his head as he started to face fuck him. Shiro kept up the suction, not caring if he was drooling.

It was almost over, he could feel it. The cock twitched on his tongue and jammed its way down his throat. The one behind him was thrusting into him like an animal. They both tensed and Shiro was filled from both sides. But these two didn’t move. Shiro had to swallow so he could breathe.

When they did pull out he fell, landing on his knees. He groaned and slumped to the ground, not caring about the mess he was laying in. He just needs to rest. It was finally over. He could grab Pidge and…

“Are you done with your warm-up?” The leader asked flipping Shiro onto his back. Shiro hissed in pain. He’d forgotten about this guy.

“Cause I’m not sure if I want your mouth or your ass.” It straddled him leering down at him. “But I know what you want.”

“I want you to stop.” Shiro croaked. His voice was sparse from how brutal his throat had been handled.

“Do you?” It smiled down at him sweetly. “I’ve heard of you. I know your true nature.”

“Just let us go.”

“Shhh, relax.” Its cock was rubbing against Shiro’s open entrance and slowly slipped in. Shiro gasped. This one was moving slow and sensationally. It wasn’t doing his injuries any favors. But it was softer than the others and Shiro was able to shift his weight, so he was putting as little as possible on his injuries.

The pace started to pick up, but it was still a gentle rocking motion. The angle kept changing as the galra settled in.

“Ah,” Shiro let out a surprised moan when his prostate was stroked. He knew he made a mistake the moment he made a sound. The galra grinned down at him.

“Found it,” he got into position to keep that exact angle. Shiro tossed his head back and bit his lip so he could keep quiet. But his back was arched, and his hips jerked in response to the stimuli.

“No,” he moaned. His cock started to stir and jerk between his legs.

“Yes,” the Galra licked up the side of his neck. “You like it.”

“Stop,” Shiro groaned. His body was trembling. He couldn’t stop himself from getting hard. Each thrust sent a jolt through him and he moaned. “Please, stop.”

He couldn’t control his body. He was hard and reacting whenever he was touched. Tears continued to stream down his face. He was disgusted when he looked down at his body and saw how his erection bobbed whenever that purple cock went inside of him.

“You’re feeling it aren’t ya?” It panted above him. It took Shiro’s good hand and threaded their fingers together. “Sendak said once he broke you, you preferred to do it like this.” Its chortle was cut short by a moan when Shiro cringed and tightened around him. “He said you liked to pretend you were making love.”

Now, Shiro sobbed in earnest. His head tipped back to look away. A hand, perverting tenderness, cupped Shiro’s face and made him look at him.

“I want to see your face,” It growled thrusting harder and faster as it got close to its release. “You look better broken,” It sneered as Shiro continued to cry, fat tears rolling down his face.

He was in agony. He no longer felt pain or pleasure, it was just an overwhelming sensation that overstimulated him, and left him tormented. He could only whimper when the galra came inside of him, flooding him until he felt full. It pulled out and covered him with the last of it.

But it was done. It was finally over. He wept when he could close his legs. Everything was sore and he could feel that his ass had prolapsed.

Through the tears, he tried to pick himself up. But he spent more time than he would have liked blubbering.

He hurt. He hurt everywhere. His body screamed as he moved. The ejaculate one the floor left it slippery, and made it harder to get up.

“I’ll let Central Command know we found him.”

They were talking again. Shiro didn’t know who was saying what.

“Let’s get them in a cell. I’m sure Zarkon will be happy to have two Paladins.”

“Where do you think their lions are? That would be a huge bonus.”

“Check the perimeter. They had to docked somewhere.”

Shiro couldn’t let them look. If they found the lion they were screwed. And he couldn’t let them take him and Pidge to a secondary location. He hadn’t stopped crying, but he had started to move.

“We’ll get that one a special cell so we can visit him whenever we like. Once we get back to Central Command, we won’t have access to him. So, get your licks now.”

Shiro knew what that meant. He couldn’t let that happen. He had to do something. His arms sputtered and sparked to life with one last attempt to defend himself.

Before he knew it, he was on his feet and everyone was screaming. Time passed by in a haze. He had no control of his movement. By the time he came back around he was standing in the middle of entrails and blood, and ejaculate. He was panting. His body was weak, and he wanted to collapse, but that wasn’t an option. He had to get Pidge. He had to get out of here.

His eyes snapped open and he jerked awake. He tried to kick the blankets off himself but got tangled. His legs were constricted, and he started to panic. He couldn’t get loose. He couldn’t run.

“Shiro,” Ulaz voice cut through. “Shiro, wake up.”

Shiro knows he let out a small scream as he fell back on the bed. Ulaz was sitting up and looking down at him, and Shiro shrank back.

“Shiro, it’s okay,” Ulaz said gently. “You’re safe.” 

Shiro blinked up at him and Ulaz continued to speak.

“You’re in the Castle of the Lions with the other Paladins. I’m not going to hurt you. You’re safe here.” Ulaz knew he had to approach Shiro with caution so he wouldn’t lash out. He watched Shiro’s eyes dart around the room until he focused back on Ulaz and blinked in recognition.

“Sorry,” Shiro mumbled. He wrapped the blankets up around his shoulders.

“You don’t have to apologize. Do you need anything?”

“No. I’m fine,” Shiro laid back down.

“Dinner is soon. Do you want me to bring you something?” Ulaz asked.

“Would I look like a coward if I don’t join everyone?”

“I think they’ll more than understand if you need some time to yourself.”

“Yeah, but I’m supposed to be the leader. I’m not supposed to fall apart like this.”

“Right now, is an exception,” Ulaz tucked Shiro back in. “You’re injured, you need to rest. Don’t force yourself for the sake of appearances.”

Shiro curled tighter into the blankets. He sighed, “I wouldn’t mind seeing everyone. I don’t like being isolated.”

“They’re all in the middle of activities.”

“Training?”

“Not quite. I think they’re working on getting dinner ready. Do you want me to inform them that you’ll be joining them after all?”

“No need to announce me,” Shiro sat up. “I’m hungry now. I haven’t eaten since this morning.”

“I’ll come with you,” Ulaz offered. Shiro didn’t expect anything less. He knew Ulaz would be sticking close to him for the next few hours to make sure he was healing properly.

“So, what are we eating?” Shiro asked the others trying to sound as casual as possible.

“You’re up,” Hunk looked a little flustered. “I didn’t think you would be so fast. We’re not ready yet.”

“We’re gonna have a movie night,” Keith explained before Shiro could ask.

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” Lance yelled from the other room.

“We always hang out after a mission,” Shiro reminded them.

“Yeah, but this is different,” Hunk insisted. “Go sit down we’ll be ready in a bit.”

Shiro was shooed out of the kitchen area and into the lounge. He took a seat on one of the couches and waited. Ulaz sat next to him and they watched the others buzzing around, trying to set everything up.

“So, what’s going on?” Shiro asked once everyone got situated.

“You don’t have to act surprised,” Lance rolled his eyes. “I know Keith already told you.”

“I appreciate it all the same,” Shiro smiled at them.

Allura queued up the movie.

“We had to dig deep in the archives to find this one, but I think you’ll like it.”

They had managed to find a perfect combination of Shiro’s favorite genres. It was a silent movie that closely followed the plot of a slapstick comedy. It didn’t take long for Shiro to start laughing. He was practically in stitches halfway through the movie. He had to have them pause it so he could catch his breath.

He was still sore, so laughing was laborious. He leaned into Ulaz as he kept his eyes on the screen. He kept reaching for more snacks, snickering through a mouthful of food. By the end of the movie, he seemed to be in better spirits.

“Thanks for doing this, guys,” Shiro said as he took his time getting to his feet.

“We wanted to help you feel better,” Allura said.

“It did, but I’m gonna hop in a cryo pod and then try to get some sleep.”

“I’ll set it up,” Coran left ahead of him to put in the proper settings for the pod.

“I’ll see you guys in the morning,” Shiro bid them goodnight. Ulaz left with him.

“That went better than expected,” Hunk let out a sigh of relief.

“We should all get some rest,” Keith said. “It’s been a long day for everyone.”

“Yeah,” Pidge agreed. She was emotionally exhausted.

They all got up to go their separate ways. The weight of the day was finally starting to come down on them. It left them tired, but they still had trouble sleeping that night.

TBC...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go!


	3. Chapter 3

“Where’s Shiro?” Keith asked at breakfast. Ulaz was at the table without him. Those two were hardly ever seen without the other.

“He’s sleeping in,” Ulaz told him. “I was going to bring breakfast to him.”

“Did he sleep at all last night?”

“He was somewhat restless, but he managed a few varga.”

“That’s good.”

“He won’t be attending training today. He needs a few days to heal.”

“I kind of figured that would be the case,” Keith sighed. 

“It doesn’t mean you can’t visit him. I’m sure he could use the company. And he has been restless, so you’ll see him out of the room later.”

“I’m just worried.”

“We all are,” Allura agreed. “He is our Black Paladin. If anything happens, we can’t form Voltron. And with what he went through, there’s no telling how long it may be until he’s feeling well enough to fly.”

“You’re forgetting that he’s missing an arm,” Lance pointed out. “And the lions take two hands to pilot.”

“That’s true,” Allura mused. “We’ll have to find a new Paladin.”

“But we just started to get along well enough to form Voltron. Adding someone else will throw off the whole dynamic.” Hunk sighed

“I know,” Allura said. “But the longer we wait the more of the universe Zarkon takes over.”

“Do what you must,” Ulaz lifted a tray of food as he prepared to leave. “My focus is making sure Shiro is okay.”

“We’ll let you know what we decide,” Allura told him.

“How are we going to decide?” Hunk asked. “We happen to all match up with our lions. How do we find a new Black Paladin out of everyone in the universe?”

“I’m not quite sure myself if I’m honest,” Allura admitted. 

“It’s not like we can make a help wanted ad,” Pidge said. “The last thing we need is a bunch of weirdos trying out.”

“Or someone trying to steal the lions,” Keith reminded them.

“Including me, there are five of us,” Allura noted. “Maybe we need to restructure rather than bring in someone new.”

“How would that work?” Keith asked.

“We will have to see if the Black Lion will accept any of us. And if someone matches, we do the same with their lion, and so on, until we have everyone in their proper place.”

“Sounds like it’s worth a shot,” Lance grinned, “You know, I would be a pretty good leader.”

“That’s for Black Lion to decide,” Allura chastised. 

“She’s right,” Keith agreed. “We gotta take this serious. Whoever is the head of Voltron is taking on a very important role. Being the leader of the universe's greatest defender isn’t something to take lightly.”

~.~.~.~.~

They spent most of the morning in the lion hanger trying to see who could connect to Black Lion. They let Allura go first since she would be the easiest to place. But Black Lion didn’t allow her to bond. Next was Lance. Despite the conversation, he was still very excited at the prospect of being the leader. It didn’t happen. He came out after about a varga looking defeated. Then there was Pidge who couldn’t even reach the controls. Hunk wasn’t a match either, but they may have lucked out on that. He seemed to get drunk on the idea of being in power.

Keith went last. He hadn’t wanted to go up, and had been hoping someone would fill the spot before him. He kept thinking back to when Shiro kept telling him he would have to lead someday. He knows he piloted Black Lion that one time, but he thought Black Lion had allowed it to save her Paladin. But now as he sat in the cockpit, and Black Lion acknowledged him, he realized it hadn’t been a fluke. Shiro hadn’t been speaking hypothetically. 

He didn’t have much time to dote on it. Now they needed someone to fit into Red Lion. This time allowing Allura to go first proved to be the right move. She was ecstatic to be in the same lion as her father. 

They didn’t have time to celebrate. They needed to start practicing in their new formations. Black Lion was nowhere near as fast as Red, and Allura wasn’t used to these kinds of controls.

“You gotta be more careful,” Pidge groaned when Red and Green collided.

“Sorry,” Allura apologized. “I didn’t expect her to go so fast, and she’s not communicating with me the way I thought she would.”

“Not so easy now is it,” Hunk's voice rang through the communicators.

“Let’s get back into position and try again,” Keith directed. He had to try and do this well. He didn’t need Shiro worrying about this while he recovered.

~.~.~.~.~

“They’re not doing half as bad as I thought they would,” Shiro had a good view of their training from the window.

“I’m sure they’ll get the hang of it,” Ulaz said. He tried not to laugh when he saw the way Red was zigging and zagging. Keith was definitely not the one flying her.

“Everyone else seems to be fine,” Shiro mused. “I’m gonna guess they have Allura in Red.”

“Is she doing good for her first time?”

“She’s getting there. It takes a lot of practice to master something as fast as that. Keith was only able to because he’s a bit of a speed demon. As long as she can fall in line with them she’ll be fine. But fighting individually might be hard. Hopefully, they can hash that out before their first real fight.”

He winced when Red slammed into Yellow. They’ll get there. He had faith in that. And if they needed help, they knew where to find him.

In the meantime, he was keeping himself entertained on his tablet. He managed to get one of the old ones on the ship up and running. It took a bit of coding, but he got most of the program to appear in English or Universal speak. The latter was the language he’d learn while being a prisoner. There were a few new downloads on it about coping with trauma. No doubt that was Ulaz’s doing.

“Would you like me to find you a way home?” Ulaz asked.

“Huh?” Shiro looked up at Ulaz.

“Would you like me to find you a way home? You don’t have to keep fighting.”

“I’m not sure,” Shiro sighed. “They’re going to need guidance. Keith’s always been a bit of an outcast with this group, and I don’t think they’ll listen to him in the beginning. And Keith has never overseen a battle before. Much less dealt with the pressure of being the head of an organization that’s at the forefront of a rebellion.”

“I understand that, but you also have to think of yourself in this. You need a safe place the heal, and I don’t think that can happen here.”

“I need to stay here to help Keith. If I leave now there will be a power vacuum. Once I know they’re set, I can think about leaving.”

Ulaz sighed. He knew he couldn’t talk Shiro into doing something he didn’t want to do.

“All I ask is that you step away when you need to,” Ulaz took Shiro’s hand in his.

“I’m here now, aren’t I?”

“I know but, don’t push yourself.”

“I’m not capable of that right now,” Shiro sighed as he pulled the curtain over his window. “There’s something I want to ask you.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Yesterday, the guys who had me, they mentioned Sendak. Or more so, they mentioned that they knew about me and Sendak. I’m wondering how far that knowledge has spread?”

Ulaz opened his mouth to speak, then stopped. He’d been expecting a question that would have been easier to answer. Shiro was frowning now. He could tell what had happened by the look on Ulaz’s face. But the galra took in a breath and told the truth.

“The Empire brags of how they broke the Champion. Sendak in particular liked to tell of how he abused you, and what you were willing to do for him to show mercy.” 

“They made it sound like I was willing,” Shiro managed to keep his voice even, despite the way his hand trembled.

“You don’t remember?” Ulaz tilted his head.

“Not all of it. I get flashes sometimes, and body memories.”

“I wasn’t there. What I know is what you told me in the moment.” Ulaz started to say more but thought better of it. “Though if you can’t remember, I don’t want to say too much and trigger a memory you’re not ready to process.”

“Then what can you tell me?” Shiro sighed in frustration.

“You only ever spoke of him with disgust,” Ulaz told him. “Anything those guards heard were fabrications of Sendak.”

“But you don’t know for sure?”

“No,” Ulaz was honest, “but we were close back then. We spoke frequently and openly. If something like that had happened, I’m sure you would have told me.”

“Unless I was ashamed of it,” Shiro turned away. He was tired of this. He was tired of his foggy mind never being able to piece the past together. He was tired of secondhand stories. And he was tired of not knowing the truth. There were times when not knowing felt worse than remembering. When he didn’t know for certain what happened his mind ran amuck. Every worst-case scenario played out in his head. 

“I don’t think that was the case,” Ulaz assured him. “Sendak wanted everyone to think he was more than he was, and your reputation was slandered because of it.”

“I guess it could be worse,” Shiro sighed. He wasn’t sure how to explain what he was feeling. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“If it bothers you, then it matters,” Ulaz said firmly. 

“What does matter,” Shiro decided to change the subject and straddled Ulaz. “Is that this is the first time we’ve been alone in almost four phoebs.” He rolled his hips against Ulaz’s.

The galra’s ears leveled and his cheeks tinted violet. It was always hard to turn Shiro down, but he wasn’t sure if this was a good idea. He said as much and Shiro playfully rolled his eyes.

“I want you,” the human told him as he ran his hands down Ulaz’s chest. He knew how to push the other man's buttons. He brushed their noses together, his breath fanning over Ulaz’s face in a ghost kiss. He could feel the other man's heart beating in sync with his own. He guided one of Ulaz’s hands under his shirt and up his body.

“We shouldn’t,” Ulaz pulled back. “It’s too soon.”

“I did the whole healing pod thing. I’m fine,” Shiro told him. 

“No, you’re not,” Ulaz kept his tone tender. He placed a hand on Shiro’s cheek, guiding his gaze back to him. “I can see it in your eyes. This isn’t about us.”

“What else would it be about?” Shiro huffed incredulously.

“What is it about?” Ulaz asked. His voice wasn’t accusing or demanding. He was concerned. He wanted to know what was wrong.

“It about us not getting time like this often.”

“After everything that happened yesterday I-”

“You won’t touch me because of what they did?” There was a crack in his sensual façade.

“No. No! That’s not what I mean.” Ulaz sat up but Shiro moved away, retreating back to himself.

“I know that I’m dirty, and what they did to me was disgusting, I-I can still feel their hands on me, and I want to forget. I want my body to forget and stop reminding me of them and…”

“You’re not disgusting.” Ulaz reached out for Shiro. “That’s not what I meant. What happened yesterday isn’t a reflection of you and would never change how I feel about you.”

Shiro still wouldn’t look at him. The human wiped his eyes and Ulaz knew he was crying.

“Takashi. I love you. You know that. And telling you, 'No' is not an easy task, but we’ve been together so long I can read you clearly. I know you want to forget, but doing it this way will only make things worse.” He placed a tentative hand on Shiro’s shoulder and wasn’t pushed away. “And you know I can never hurt you. So, when your voice is unsure and your eyes are forlorn, I can’t say yes. But I’m still here for you.”

Shiro spared him a glance and sniffled. He let Ulaz pull him back into his arms. 

“I can’t imagine how hard this is,” Ulaz nuzzled him. “But I only want what’s best for you, and I couldn’t live with myself if I knew I made things worse.”

“I know,” Shiro finally said. “I know it was a dumb idea but I thought, that if I could get my mind off it and replace it with something else it would go away.”

“We can still do something together,” Ulaz assured him. “We haven’t gotten a chance to explore this castle. I’m sure something is interesting around here. We can translate the files in the library.” 

“It has been a while since I found a good book,” Shiro admitted. 

“Do you like high fantasy? There are a few novels I have you may like.”

“You read fantasy?” Shiro quirked an eyebrow.

“Yes. What else would I read? After a long mission, it’s nice to get lost in a story that has nothing to do with the present circumstances.”

“I took you as a romance kind of guy,” Shiro admitted.

“Sometimes. But that’s beside the point.” Ulaz was ready to get up but Shiro wasn’t budging.

“In a bit,” the human said. “I’m still worn out from yesterday.”

“Okay,” Ulaz settled in and pulled the blanket over them as Shiro snuggled up to him. “We can take a trip as well.”

“In the middle of a war?”

“They’re going to need more time to practice. We should land somewhere so we can restock supplies. It could be a few weeks before they get things nailed down, and they need the open air space."

“That’s true.”

“I know this one planet that’s like the beaches you speak of. Sand, water, and many shops to explore. It could be a nice break for everyone.”

“That does sound nice. I’ll talk to Allura when they get back in.” He cringed when he heard the lions collide again. 

~.~.~.~.~

Keith was exhausted by the time they took a break. Everyone filed into the lounge and partook of the snacks Coran served. 

“We’re making good progress,” Keith tried to sound encouraging. “I don’t think it will be long before we can form Voltron again.”

“Hopefully,” Pidge rolled her eyes. 

“I’m doing my best,” Allura lamented.

“You’re doing a lot better than you were this morning,” Keith said. 

“We need to get seatbelts for those things,” Lance cracked his back. “I’m tired of getting thrown around.”

“Noted,” Coran nodded.

“If you didn’t slam on the breaks every time, you’d be fine,” Pidge reminded him.

“It’s not my fault. If Allura is suddenly in front of me I have to stop.” Lance defended. When Pidge still looked skeptical, he added. “You’re in no place to judge. We wouldn’t of had to shuffle if-”

“If Shiro could still fly,” Hunk finished for him.

“We already talked about this,” Keith stepped in. “Shiro isn’t blaming her so neither should we. She wasn’t the one to hurt him.”

But she was the one who abandoned him, thought of herself before others. Keith didn’t say it, but the thought had been burning in his mind. He was angry, but he promised Shiro not to take it out on Pidge. 

He hadn’t confronted her since the first time, but he couldn’t get past it. He knows it’s only been a day, but he couldn’t shake the haunted look in Shiro’s eyes, the way he broke down when he finally told them what happened, the defeat he radiated when he lost his arm. Keith couldn't deal with knowing it had happened. How could Shiro cope with it? 

“How’d it go?” Shiro peeked his head in when he realized they finished for the day.

“We’re getting there,” Keith said. 

“How are you feeling,” Allura asked him.

“I’m alright,” he smiled despite his red eyes. “Who’s in what lion?”

“I’m in Black, and Allura is Red,” Keith explained.

“Makes sense,” Shiro nodded. “Are you guys getting used to it?”

“Kind of,” Keith shrugged. “What have you been up to? Where’s Ulaz?”

“Reading. He fell asleep,” Shiro told them. “We were thinking we should land somewhere for you guys to practice rather than drifting. Ulaz has a few friendly planets in mind. I’ll pass the coordinates along when he’s up.”

“You should be resting instead of strategizing,” Allura frowned. 

“I have been. So no worries,” Shiro waved it off. “I'm popping in to make sure everything is okay.”

“We got it,” Lance gave him a thumbs up. 

“Yeah,” Hunk agreed. “Go back to bed.”

“Alright. I’ll leave you guys to it,” Shiro didn’t stick around long after that. 

“We’ll take a break for today,” Keith decided. “And we’ll start fresh after we land.” It would give him time to figure out what to do. He didn’t want to bug Shiro too much since he was recovering, but he could also use some advice.

He wasn’t a leader. He liked to spend as much time away from the group as possible. Even in flight school, he didn’t get along with his group. He always worked better alone, and until Voltron never worried about it. Now he was the leader of a rebellion group and the fate of the universe depended on him. It only made it worse that he was stepping into Shiro’s place. 

Shiro was the face of the coalition. Most of their supporters joined after meeting him. They were reassured that he was a competent leader. Keith knew he didn’t have the same kind of charisma. He couldn’t draw people to him the way Shiro did. 

But he couldn’t bug Shiro with his insecurities now. He said he was feeling better, but he didn’t come out of the room for dinner.

Keith decided to stop in and drop off food. Besides, he also needed to get the coordinates from Ulaz. The door wasn’t set to “Do Not Disturb,” so he was able to get in with ease. To his surprise, Shiro was curled up against Ulaz, sleeping soundly under the blankets. 

“Hey,” Ulaz greeted him with a yawn. “Is something wrong?”

“No. I was dropping this off,” Keith put the plate down. “How is he doing?”

“He had a rough morning, but he’s doing okay,” Ulaz was honest. “But he’s not going to get better overnight. These things take time.”

“I know,” Keith sighed. “Thank you for looking out for him.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Ulaz looked down fondly at Shiro and smiled before turning his attention back to Keith. “He just fell asleep so he might be out for a bit longer.”

“I can talk to him later. But he did mention you knew of a good place to land.”

“I passed the information to Coran. We should be en route now.”

“I’ll swing by later to see if he’s awake.”

“I’ll let him know you stopped by.”

Shiro curled closer into him. His arm wrapped around Ulaz’s waist. He mumbled something that Keith couldn’t hear, but Ulaz purred in response.

Keith left trying not to read too much into it. But at least Ulaz seemed dedicated. He had waited for who knows how long in that hidden base, waiting, trusting that Shiro would return. Even when everyone was skeptical of him, he paid them no mind and was focused on helping. Now he spent most of his time at Shiro’s side which was proving to be a good thing. He was able to watch over and care for him.

It was nice to know that while they were out fighting, there was someone to take care of Shiro.

Fin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really a happy ending, but a hopeful ending.   
> Thanks for reading this far!  
> Drop a comment and let me know what you think! ^^

**Author's Note:**

> That's a lot in one chapter.  
> Don't fret, I'm posting the entire fic today.  
> And again, I'm almost done with the next part of Captive, but I wanted to get all of my smaller projects out of my folder. I should be posting for Captive sometime in June.  
> Drop me a comment if you like this fic so far ^^


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